In my womens group at church we are going through Beth Moore's Breaking Free study. What an eye opening group. I would really recommend going through it if you get the chance but please, don't do it alone. You will get so much more out of it if you at least have a sounding board to bounce things off of. Feel free to email if you'd like...I don't mind :)
Going through the second week (and this is not a question out of that week) I starting asking what things are keeping me from having a closer relationship with God? What is keeping me captive? The definition of captivity in the study is A Christian being held by anything that hinders the abundant and effective Spirit-filled life that God has planned. So I asked myself this: What is hindering me from having the abundant and effective Spirit-filled life that God has planned for me? Here is what I came up with and I will add to the list (as I grow I'm sure things will go away and new things come up) as needed.
My feeling of worthlessness. I KNOW God does love me but sometimes I can't understand HOW He can love me after all of the things I have done and all of the sin I have committed. Like the woman who see herself as a big spot on a white dress. It's doubt from mistreatment and manipulation early in life, from societies idea of Karma (when is the bad going to catch up to me and make me pay for the mistakes I have made in the past-which is not only NOT biblical but completely takes the need for Jesus out of society) and the idea of God punishing the wicked. I KNOW I have Jesus as my Savior, I believe He died to carry the burden of my sin and stand in front of me as my defender against God, the Father's wrath and disgust of my sin but the doubt of my salvation sometimes creeps in because I am SO UNWORTHY of Him.
Societial thinking. The scale theory of I'm not that bad-I have done (or am doing) more good than bad-God loves everyone so I'm sure He'll forgive me if I'm trying to do the right thing. God is a warm and fuzzy, not someone to fear. God is mighty and jealous according to scripture. He doesn't like to fight for our affection. I'm doing my best isn't good enough. He knew our best wouldn't be good enough that's why He sent His son. Jesus is our only good enough.
My way. I want to do everything in Gods plan but I want to do it my way because Your way is harder, more time consuming (don't You know I'm busy?) and requires more effort on a consistent basis. So, God, this is my plan can you just bless my plan? It's a good plan full of helping people, doing good deeds, spreading your word and teaching people about You and Your Son. Can't You just bless my plan? But it's not about MY plan. If it's my plan who gets the glory if it suceeds? I do. Not God. Who deserves all the Glory for All Things? Not me. God. Praying and asking for guidance are the best ways to ask for His plan for me but I have to listen and put my plan away. It's all about His plan. However big or small my part is, I need to be grateful of the part He allows me to play in His plan.
It all comes down to me. I am the hinderance in my relationship with God. When I start thinking I'm more (OR LESS) important than I am, the issues start happening. Any flaws there are, because He is perfect, have to be on my end. I will keep praying for closeness with Him and for Him to reveal any obstacles that I have placed in the way of Him and I Love you dearly.
God is my life and He is in mine. If you don't like it, ask yourself why and be honest when you answer.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Fear of God
We have been having a discussion on our small group blog about fear of God. Is it a terrified fear? A "dad can punish me" fear? The standard answer is a reverant fear. What is that? What does it look like?
As a believer, we need to have a healthy concept of who God is, what He stands for and what He means for us. Fearing Him is, I believe, a reverantial trust AND knowing that He is the controller of all things. My friend posted this:
Norman Geisler is a well respected theologian and prolific writer on Biblical issues. In his book "When Critics Ask: A Popular Handbook of Bible Difficulties" he addresses the question: "If love casts out all fear, why are we told to fear God?"
Here is his answer:
1 John 4:18—If love casts out all fear, why are we told to fear God?
I think that most commonly I tend to think of Him as My Father. A dad. He always has my best intentions and always wants the best to happen. As a defiant (fallen and sinful) child, I need constant reminders of who He is, especially if I am choosing to do it my way instead of using the stones He has laid before me. For me, the reverential fear is a respect and, truly, fearful terror. I know that sounds repetative but I am terrified of God. Because of my sinful nature, what would happen to me if I were face to face with the One Who Created me? Even the best are His worst without Jesus.
Gratefully, I have Jesus standing before me. Like the big brother who stood up for you so you wouldn't get in trouble, He is vouching for me. I can be afraid and be joyous in that fear. I know God's mighty power and because I know His power I know and understand how much I really need Jesus to stand in front for me to stay God's wrath. I can be full of love knowing that He sent His son to die for me so that I may stand with Him one day and not have to be afraid anymore. My fear is out of respect and knowledge of who He is.
Still need to learn more...
I love God....
God bless :)
As a believer, we need to have a healthy concept of who God is, what He stands for and what He means for us. Fearing Him is, I believe, a reverantial trust AND knowing that He is the controller of all things. My friend posted this:
Norman Geisler is a well respected theologian and prolific writer on Biblical issues. In his book "When Critics Ask: A Popular Handbook of Bible Difficulties" he addresses the question: "If love casts out all fear, why are we told to fear God?"
Here is his answer:
1 John 4:18—If love casts out all fear, why are we told to fear God?
Problem: John affirms here that “perfect love casts out all fear.” Yet we are told that the “fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge” (Prov. 1:7) and that we should “serve the Lord with fear” (Ps. 2:11). Indeed, Paul said, “knowing … the terror [fear] of the Lord, we persuade men” (2 Cor. 5:11).
Solution: Fear is being used in different senses. Fear in the good sense is a reverential trust in God. In the bad sense it is a sense of recoiling torment in the face of God. While proper fear brings a healthy respect for God, unwholesome fear engenders an unhealthy sense that He is out to get us. Perfect love casts out this kind of “torment.” When one properly understands that “God is love” (1 John 4:16), he can no longer fear Him in this unhealthy sense. For “he who fears has not been made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18). Nonetheless, at no time does proper love for God ever show disrespect for Him. Rather, it is perfectly compatible with a reverential awe for Him, which is what the Bible means by “fearing God” in the good sense (cf. 2 Cor. 7:1; 1 Peter 2:17).
I think that most commonly I tend to think of Him as My Father. A dad. He always has my best intentions and always wants the best to happen. As a defiant (fallen and sinful) child, I need constant reminders of who He is, especially if I am choosing to do it my way instead of using the stones He has laid before me. For me, the reverential fear is a respect and, truly, fearful terror. I know that sounds repetative but I am terrified of God. Because of my sinful nature, what would happen to me if I were face to face with the One Who Created me? Even the best are His worst without Jesus.
Gratefully, I have Jesus standing before me. Like the big brother who stood up for you so you wouldn't get in trouble, He is vouching for me. I can be afraid and be joyous in that fear. I know God's mighty power and because I know His power I know and understand how much I really need Jesus to stand in front for me to stay God's wrath. I can be full of love knowing that He sent His son to die for me so that I may stand with Him one day and not have to be afraid anymore. My fear is out of respect and knowledge of who He is.
Still need to learn more...
I love God....
God bless :)
Thursday, January 13, 2011
New To This
I am completely new to blogging. I have been wanting to start one for quit a while now (my sister-in-law has one) to really voice what I am learning about walking in complete faith in Jesus. Some of this will be about my daily devotional time, meditation, how I am reaching out and who is reaching out to me. I want feedback. Criticism is welcomed. I am not afraid of being called crazy or radical or any other "negative" Christian name. I only have to answer to one :)
The reason I picked today to start: I cried in my car today. I thought about what Christ has done for me, for my life, for my heart. To explain to someone what has happened to my heart in the last year is nothing short of a miracle. Love. I can give you a million words to describe that feeling but unless you have experienced it, you won't understand. Someone said "To a believer, no explanation is necessary. To someone who doesn't believe, none will be enough." This has not been more true in my life than lately.
For me right now, no one can persuade me into believing that Jesus didn't die for me or that God hasn't loved me forever. He loves me. I know these things. They are ingrained in me.
I titled this blog, He is my vine because He is. Without Him, nothing I do is fulfilling. I can do no real good in the world. I am only who I am because of my Lord.
God, thank you for loving me, for changing the way I think, for opening my eyes to You and Your undying and unconditional love. I know I have sinned against you, Lord, have done things I would rather forget. Without Your son Jesus I would be forever condemned and I am so grateful that You gave Him to save my life. Everything I do and am is for You. In your mighty name, Amen.
The reason I picked today to start: I cried in my car today. I thought about what Christ has done for me, for my life, for my heart. To explain to someone what has happened to my heart in the last year is nothing short of a miracle. Love. I can give you a million words to describe that feeling but unless you have experienced it, you won't understand. Someone said "To a believer, no explanation is necessary. To someone who doesn't believe, none will be enough." This has not been more true in my life than lately.
For me right now, no one can persuade me into believing that Jesus didn't die for me or that God hasn't loved me forever. He loves me. I know these things. They are ingrained in me.
I titled this blog, He is my vine because He is. Without Him, nothing I do is fulfilling. I can do no real good in the world. I am only who I am because of my Lord.
God, thank you for loving me, for changing the way I think, for opening my eyes to You and Your undying and unconditional love. I know I have sinned against you, Lord, have done things I would rather forget. Without Your son Jesus I would be forever condemned and I am so grateful that You gave Him to save my life. Everything I do and am is for You. In your mighty name, Amen.
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